writing learning story

ccccKanah's Writing Learning Story
Term 3 2019

“How do we  create a moment in time so our audience feels like they are there with us?”












My Moment in Time

Title: Tongan Performance

As I am in the changing rooms my heart is beating like never before!

I am sweating hard as if it is raining. I could hear the crowd celebrating their children who were on the stage by yelling and shouting. Walking towards the doors made me feel like I was getting closer to a rumbling volcano. As the Tongan parents were yelling and clapping hard out.

As I am walking around everyone, my body filled up with goosebumps. As the other group jumped off the stage my heart bumped even stronger. I am walking on stage, everyone clapped and cheered. I started to calm down as I was singing because everyone went quiet. I stopped singing and everyone clapped and cheered. When I heard someone call out my name I felt so calm, I felt like they
loved me. As I went backstage I felt proud to be a part of the group that I was with.

The best part of the Tongan performance was when we had finished all of our songs and I felt so proud to be Tongan.


Reflection
I am good at using descriptive language
and precise words (rumbling, volcano)  and making my readers feel like they are there.
I need to work on: proofreading my writing to correct all my sentence punctuation (fullstops, capital, letters, exclamation marks, question marks, commas) this will take my writing into advanced level 4.

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